The visa to Oz!!!!!!

❉ i was able to have a little sleep in this morning since my morning swedish class had been cancelled. when i woke up, jerry was still sound asleep, so i lay in bed and quietly checked my emails.

sitting there in my inbox was a message from our immigration lawyer. my heart skipped a beat. in an anxious panic i clicked the wrong button and sent it to the trash. i fumbled around to open it and quickly scanned over the first sentence..
'.....australian high commission..... jerry's visa....granted'..... i bolted upright, tears exploded from my eyes and i jumped on the sleeping jerry, pounding him and screaming directly into his ear 'WE GOT THE VISA, WE GOT THE VISA!!!' ... the poor thing was so worried and confused at being woken in such a way that he didn't know what was going on. i had to calm myself to get it through to him. 'we......got......the......visa.....!!!!!!!!!'

finally i can go home!

nobody can understand how big this is to me.... i've been traveling for many many years now, and it has been amazing and wonderful, i've met many very special people and had life experiences that i would never cash in...... but when i met jerry three years ago, i was feeling nearly ready to go home.... i was missing it.

we first applied for his visa over two years ago, so we've been waiting for it for two thirds of our entire relationship together! of course we've had loads of fun along the way, but for me there's always been that small sense of waiting... and now after all this time, we've finally got it! jerry cant quite believe it. he was expecting a rejection so this is a huge shock to him.

for breakfast i cracked open a bottle of champagne and we sat in bed and toasted the new australian. we skyped my mum and dad and they were so excited that they cracked open a bottle of bubbly too and drank with us!

i started this blog two years ago after we first applied for the visa. i called it 'the yellow brick road' because it would be about all my adventures on the journey home to Oz.... and now it seems that Oz is finally in sight... but don't worry, its not the end.... just the start of a new adventure! :o)

:o)

'It's showtime'!!

❊ i rushed straight from swedish class to mariatorget, where my google map lead me into a residential area thick with high-rise apartments. as i wobbled in my wedge-heels down side streets and alleys, through gardens and up stairwells, i finally found a warehouse garage door painted black, with 'IT'S SHOWTIME' stenciled on. for a brief moment i hesitated, before opening the door.

fifteen minutes later i found myself stripper-dancing in my jeans and bra, to an imaginary 'sausage man' sitting on a chair, with sleazy strip-club music playing... in the middle of a film set..... on film.

how the hell did that happen?! as far as i knew i was going to a casting for a TV commercial in which i would be an extra, dancing in the background at an after party!

when i walked into the warehouse, I was greeted by a small group of funky young girls and guys who were super cool and who worked in this awesome production studio. they showed me the story board for the tv commercial which was based on a giant sausage. the ad starts off with this sausage man  fist-fighting a famous politician as paparazzi snap away, then ends up at a seedy strip joint where lap-dancers in bikinis bump and grind him as he boozes it up. he then passes out and wakes up in the chair of a tattoo parlour, getting a horrible biker tattoo done and finally crawls back home to the fridge, where he slips back into a packet of sausages. i think the message is something to do with local insourcing...

it was the story board that sold me. it was brilliantly done and seemed like a very quirky concept, somewhat reminiscent of the 'hangover' movies. i told them i hadn't realised that it would be that type of dancing (that must be why the money is so good!) but that what the hell, i would have a crack at it anyway. 

there was no actual sausage man there for the casting, so i had to imagine him sitting on the chair as i danced. afterwards they told me i was very natural and that i'd obviously done it before (no i havent!!)... i guess maybe my burlesque and belly dance classes came in handy! ... as i walked back to the tube station i called jerry who's response was 'oh thats so exciting! i hope you get it!'

:o)

mission: wipe-out

*what i loved about london was the opportunity for excitement.... it seemed that anything you dreamt of doing you could do in london... the book 'the secret'  which i'm reading at the moment, tells you that your life is exactly how you've wished and expected it to be, and that if you want something more, you must wish it into existence (that's a shitty summary of the book. there's so much more to it than that but read it for yourself if you haven't already :o)... i decided to put it out into the universe that i want some excitement in my life.... and sure enough the universe delivered.

i'd registered my profile with an extra agency online when i first arrived in stockholm and hadn't heard a peep from them til yesterday, when all of a sudden i got a phonecall from a man named kid.
kid: 'would you be interested in being a contestant on the tv show 'wipe-out'?'
me: 'isn't that filmed in argentina?'
kid: 'yes it is. of course all expenses would be paid by us'.
me: 'yes i'm interested'
kid: 'great. can you come to a casting tomorrow?'
me: 'yes i can'

oh.... my..... god!!! i hung up the phone, stunned like a mullet, then broke into a wild screaming jumping dancing fit. jerry was both insanely excited for me and insanely jealous... he loves that show and has always wanted to be in it...then he read the information email which included the magic words 'bring along your partner to the casting to enter the couples competition'!!! ... and for me: 'wear the costume that you plan to wear on the show if you go through'..... !!!!
we began to plan 'mission: win wipe-out' i had to think about my costume for about two seconds.... of course i have to go as a bunny.

jerry informed me that he has all it takes to win and that i better start going to the gym to strengthen up because if we lose because of me he may kill me. i had to remind him that it's thanks to me that he's even got a chance to be in the show!

we arrived at the casting today, me in a bunny costume and jerry in a smart bow-tie and short-pants suit. no-one else was dressed up. initially embarrassing till we realised it gave us the advantage.

we killed it in the interview. jerry told me i ate the camera. which must be a swedish expression for coming across well on film. it's all a bit of a blur now, because of the adrenalin, but i remember jumping at the chance to go first, shaking my bunny tail, singing 'hey big spender', saying a stupid thing in swedish which i thought rhymed but actually doesn't and demonstrating the scream i would do if i won.

the prize is 50,000 crowns. 9 days in buenos aires, all expenses paid.
though i don't know if i'm through yet... i just want to say thank you to the secret and to the universe.

:o)

välkommen!!

❄ today i had my swedish introduction class at the folk university.. the lovely teacher monika asked us questions in swedish to determine which level we were at before handing out the level test. after my turn she said 'anna, i dont think we'll bother giving you the test.. we'll just pop you straight in the beginners class' .... and there i was thinking i was pretty good for understanding all the questions! everyone else could answer them in swedish too! 

in the group there were students from egypt, brazil, palestine, eritrea, cuba, gambia and thailand... jerry's comment on that was 'i knew you'd be the only normal one'..(!)
i actually found it fascinating being amongst people from such exotic places, imagining the lives they'd come from and how they'd ended up in sweden of all places...

the teacher told us that the most important thing was to practise our swedish outside of the classroom as well. she asked all the students if we had swedish friends we could speak with and most of them said no! one woman said the only people she could practise on were her small children! i seemed to be the only one who has swedish friends here! in fact i dont know anyone here who isn't swedish! and for that i'm very lucky because they all can't wait for me to be able to speak swedish with them. jerry in particular is very excited about having a good laugh at me. he said he'd love to send a dictaphone along with me to class each day so he could listen back and take the piss.

in fact i know he's very happy that im learning his language (and living in his country) and that's why he's paying for everything and even spoiling me, working double shifts while i stay at home watching 'Idol'!.... though to be fair, i'm also being a very thorough housewife!

while everyone else in the class took the test, monika walked me down the corridor and told me i'll resume full time studies (7 hours a day) tomorrow morning. she showed me where my classroom would be and as we peeped our heads through the doorway, five happy, arabic-looking male faces turned around to greet me... 'välkommen!!!!'

:o)

the tournament

❉ jerry found a proper old-school black jack table in the classifieds, selling for an absolute bargain and we decided we just had to get it. it needs a bit of work; some sanding, a paint job etc, but i'tll be just perfect for the business idea we're conjuring up (which i'll tell you about as soon as we get the go-ahead from the 'lottery inspection' authorities)... :o)

while it's sitting in our apartment we figured we might as well give it some action. so last night we hosted a fabulous black jack tournament slash dinner party. jerry and i put together a sushi and pad thai feast and our friends jesper & rebecca and karin & matthias came over to eat and play.

the tournament was so much fun!! everyone put in 100 crowns each towards the pot so that the game would be more thrilling and i played the part of the bunny croupier, even pulling some bunny ears and a bow tie out of the closet. the more we drank, the more rowdy the game became and the more aggressively competitive everyone became until it was downright cut-throat..

rebecca got so edgy she had to turn away each time she drew a card, matthias refused to share his tricks, even telling karin she was on her own, jesper, who was sitting at the end of the table and drawing the last card, was angrily demanding the credit for everyone winning each time i busted. though being the dealer i couldnt win, even i became a little ruthless, whooping and jeering when i hit black jack and raked in their losing chips, offering shoddy advice on doubling and splitting and scolding them to stop touching their bets. but jerry was the worst, furiously screaming and cursing, chucking tantrums and punching the air, going off to sulk in the corner, calling people idiots, even threatening rebecca with a cattle prod every time she was a bit slow to place her bet. i had to remind him that it was just a game and just 100 crowns!...

matthias took the pot at the end, with rebecca coming in a close second. despite nearly murdering each other, everyone admitted it was a cracking night and that we absolutely must do it again soon...
:o)
 

the phallus

 ❊ today i trekked through the rain to the grungy south of stockholm city to meet my job coach, 'greta', a quirky and spirited lady with a fabulously wicked laugh. she's intent on helping me find my dream job and always has suggestions for events i might be interested in; joining a barbershop choir, meeting the famous artists and actors of stockholm at a media culture event, attending a start-your-own business fair...
she told me i was much calmer in today's session and that last time we'd met i'd seemed so hyperactive and bubbling with energy that she wondered if i needed to do some painting to calm down!

this diagnosis and remedy fascinated me... i realised i'd actually quite like to do some painting! i'd already searched online and found an amazing sounding life-drawing workshop called 'atelier stockholm' where you learn to draw the figure renaissance style.. i bought pencils and a drawing pad especially for it but every thursday night something else has come up and i've missed the class...

i'd also been meaning to go to the robert maplethorpe photography exhibition at the grand 'fotografiska' museum for ages, and today i finally went with my friend rebecca. what a fabulously shocking exhibition! there were so many huge black penises in that gallery that we couldn't stop gasping! the man was truly obsessed with the phallus! even his photos of flowers looked like penises! and mixed in with his self-portraits was one of him bending over with a leather whip dangling out of his anus! imagine how much more shocking his pictures would have been back in the 80's, especially during the aids epidemic... we discussed penises for quite a while and as we left, suspected that tonight our dreams will be swarming with penises!

:o)

stockholm, im back!

❉ so here i am, sitting at a candlelit window table in the cosy local restaurant/bar 'aubergine', nibbling at a chevre cheese salad with my laptop open and the bangles playing in the background... outside it's getting dark and cold, as autumn sets in over stockholm city.

how is it that i seem to have switched lives so quickly and so completely?! it was only the other day that i was living in london, working as a playboy bunny, dealing roulette in mayfair.... and last you heard from me, i hated it.
it was during this period that i took a holiday to visit jerry who was working for a few weeks at a festival in a quaint and lovely swedish island village called Visby. after a magical few days strolling the cobbled streets and drinking way too many cocktails, we flew across to stockholm for a friend's wedding.

as we were walking down busy Sveavägen, the sun shining down on us, Jerry stopped in the middle of the street and with a big cocky smile on his face, he took a big dramatized breath in. 'can you smell that?' he asked me.... 'what?' i asked with scorn, waiting for something ridiculous. 'the superiosity!!!'... he gloated.
'pfff, there's no such word!' i scoffed back at him. lately he'd become increasingly miserable in london and at every opportunity he'd rant on about how much better sweden was.
but i think the happiness i saw in him at that moment was what made me agree to move back to stockholm, that and the fact i wasn't really enjoying the bunny job.

and then, as it always is, after i made the decision, i instantly began to love the job, realised how much i loved london with its action, its opportunities, how its grey skies and dirty seedy streets had crept under my skin and into my heart.
my last day at playboy i was a mess. standing at the roulette table, wearing my bunny costume for the last time, i looked around at my bunnies who i'd been through such an amazing rollercoaster ride with, and who i realised i loved so dearly, and i couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my face... all day i was crying at the drop of a hat....

i cried when my best bunny friend yasmin finished her shift, i cried as i hugged 'the colonel' (one of our moody regular customers) goodbye, i cried to security as i handed in my bunny costume which i loved even though it was so tight it prevented me from breathing in and digesting food properly. i cried to my boss when he told me i'd always be welcome back and i sobbed on the shoulder of each and every inspector and bunny that i hugged goodbye.... if only i'd realised sooner how much i loved that place...

anyway, a change is as good as a holiday and though the goodbyes are hard, i'm always very fond of starting a fresh.....

i flew into stockholm with 80 kilograms of luggage that i somehow didn't have to pay any excess for, and that in actuality was my whole life.... though i do complain about being a gypsy nomad, i also do feel a little bit thankful that i have so few strings attached that i'm able to just pack up and move countries so easily.

i had a special feeling arriving in sweden again, knowing it would be my new home. i love sweden for its utopian social system, its clean and safe streets, its beautiful people, its free education, its amazing night-life.... and for the lovely friends we have here...
we were lucky enough to land a gorgeous cosy little apartment right downtown so that we can walk everywhere and rarely have to catch the tube...
and because i'm classified as a 'new swede', the government here is paying for me to study swedish full time and giving me an allowance while i study. they're paying a lady to be my own personal job coach and they'll pay any employer who hires me 80% of my salary... what a country!! if only australia was as welcoming to jerry :o/

we're still waiting on the australian visa decision so who knows how long we'll be here...but at least we're happy in the meantime....
:o)





 

piss

❉ standing at roulette table 2 with no customers, goose-bumps from the loathed air-conditioner that mistakenly thinks it's summer outside in london, busting to pee and wishing away the long hours of my last day of work before my weekend.

shift work has completely knackered me. according to a tv show my brother watched, shift-workers are 3 times more likely to get cancer. apparently your body clock is set from birth and you can't adjust it. your body will only heal itself during certain hours of the night, if you're sleeping.... 

my body clock has no idea what time it is, what day it is, who's body its in, when it will sleep next... and when i do sleep it's a shallow, tortured slumber, racked with harrowing nightmares. i turn around to roulette table 1 to ask Bunny M if she's been sleeping well... she tells me she's been sleep-walking, dreaming of gypsy thieves, and woken to find herself sitting at the end of the bed in the dark, flicking her cigarette lighter on and off in front of her face! though it sounds quite scary, i cant help but laugh, which makes me need to pee even more.

a customer joins my table and my laughter fades. there's nothing to laugh about around these gamblers. the other night when one particularly rude customer lost all his money in one spin, i couldn't help but sneak a quick smirk and he almost pounced at me 'Its not funny!!' ....'of course it's not sir. i was thinking about something else.' i responded, pondering whether karma is wild and rampant in casinos.

when my table is empty again, i turn around to ask Bunny M how she responds to rude customers. 'i do the devil symbol with my hand at them under the table'.
i look at her demonstrating under the table and she's doing that rock-n-roll hand gesture!! now i'm cackling uncontrollably.

the thing is i'm not really enjoying being a croupier. and i'm missing jerry desperately. everything reminds me of him;  the number 24 on my roulette wheel reminds me of him, katy perry singing on the radio reminds me of him.... even my burning bloody UTI reminds me of jerry.

it was in sweden the last time i had a UTI this bad, just after i'd had my boobs done and couldn't get out of bed without help. i was in agony from surgery and the UTI had attacked me while i was down. knowing that i'd be busting all night, and wouldn't be able to get up to go to the toilet, i asked jerry whether he minded if i just lay a towel down and piss the bed if i needed to. he agreed. that to me is the definition of true love.

'i'm on the edge' i say to Bunny M. i dont mean just the pee, i mean everything. the job, london, everything... maybe i'm just missing jerry..

:o)

graveyarding, chick-fixing, slide-showing, miss-mia-meowing, jerry missing, me-time :o)

 spot me in the picture?

✥ i've just finished a week of the 'graveyard shift' at work. 6am -2pm, which means waking up at 4am and going to bed at 8pm....very wierd at first. normally i'm coming home from work at 4am so it took a night of tossing and turning in bed, sculling a bottle of rescue remedy, counting sheep and listening to meditation podcasts to get me into the sleeping pattern. but after a while i enjoyed the graveyard... walking to the bus stop in the fresh dawn, the streets deserted and quiet, knowing i was up before everyone else and making the most of the morning, the big english breakfast served at work, loads of breaks because there were no customers.... it was alright for a week.

jerry's in sweden for the whole of july, working at a club on a swedish island that hosts a big party festival every summer. he's done it for years and loves it, so i'm happy for him but i also miss him! so i've decided to use all this 'me time' that i have on my hands as productively as possible. i've absorbed myself into a couple of great books, i've been playing around recording some songs on my laptop with 'garageband' which is really fun to use, i've been getting back into my tarot cards, been shopping for sushi-making ingredients, writing letters to my grandparents and watching period dramas which jerry refuses to watch with me.

and lots is going on right now to keep me from despairing at jerry's absence...
the reality tv show that i was involved in earlier this year, 'house of grazia', has since been renamed 'chick fix' (i think i preferred the former :o/) and is now airing on sky living! it's quite exciting, though i'm sure ill be embarrassed at how i come across on film, as usual... it should be a good watch, so if you have sky, here's the link:
http://skyliving.sky.com/top-shows/chick-fix#girls

the student film 'miss mia meows' that i worked on set for late last year had its premiere while i was away in thailand. i was so disappointed to miss it, since i had loved so much working on set for it. though i originally got the job as assistant art director, i was also asked to fill in for an extra that didn't show and that was loads of fun! i watched a sneak preview on the London college of communication webiste and spotted myself in one of the first scenes, walking into the bar in a blue velvet dress with a fox hanging over my shoulder... see if you can spot me:
http://www.lcc.arts.ac.uk/showcase/video-showcase/ba-film-and-television%20graduation-trailers-2011/

our wedding photographer pam has just sent us a slideshow of photos from the wedding. i've been eagerly awaiting these photos and was overjoyed at how they turned out. in the background of the slideshow is the song i sang to jerry at the wedding and the song my brother sang as i came down the aisle (walked across the beach)...the whole slideshow is so beautiful that i cried for 10 minutes straight while watching it, then had to watch it again and cry again. i just cant believe what a wonderful job she's done of it... i feel like the whole mood of the day and night has been captured. if you'd like to see it, here's the link:
http://www.pamfolio.com/galleries/annajerry/

tomorrow night jerry comes back to london for the weekend to work at the club. im missing him so much ive decided to follow him to work!  it'll also be nice to see all my old colleagues who i havent seen since i quit to work for playboy...

tonight im curling up in bed to watch my new period drama 'mildred pierce', with some chai tea and some cadbury's chocolate....

peace to you all

:o)

the game of chance

'he must love you a lot'.... i'm caught off guard by the punter standing to the side of my table, admiring my wedding ring which twinkles in the casino lighting. 'what's your name sweetheart?'... 'im bunny anna'.

after two months of intense bunny training, im now a qualified croupier and playboy bunny! me and 50 other lovely london bunnies can be found on the roulette and black jack tables of the world famous playboy club, just re-opended in mayfair, london.

i kept very hush-hush throughout the training, partially due to a clause on social-networking about playboy, but mainly because i was too busy to blog. i squeezed the full time bunny training around my nanny job and my weekend job at the club and was working 70 hour weeks with double shifts back to back on fridays and saturdays, all while planning a wedding! it was a marvelous feat if i do say so myself!

the 10 week training was fabulous. the main point was to learn roulette, which seems like a very easy game of chance where the croupier just spins the ball and hands out chips, but in actual fact it's extremely complex, with strict rules on procedures and it requires mathematical skills verging on genius. as bunny croupiers, we were to learn to do it all with 'style, flair and grace'. eyes up, shoulders back, playboy pinky fingers extended, smile!, voissin by fifty, 5, 8, 10 and 11 and the neighbours by 5, 'no more bets thank you!!'

while we learnt we laughed, we cried, and we forged amazing friendships. after all, we were 50 girls, london's finest and loveliest, all in the same position, all searching for some excitement, some glitz and glamour, to be a part of the history making as london playboy club re-opens after 50 years...

each week, different managers and high profiles would come to watch us practise, so we were to be perfectly groomed every day. high heels, glossy hair, manicured nails, dressed in our best. it sounds exhausting but we loved it! an excuse to dress up and look fabulous each day! the PR team would also come in to choose different girls for various publicity jobs; playboy perfume tv ad bunnies, Union Jack bunnies who would meet and greet with Heff at the grand opening, Grand Prix bunnies, Monaco private yacht bunnies, bunnies sent to Marbella, Catwalk bunnies and Media bunnies.

i was overjoyed to be chosen as a media bunny, who are to do all tv, magazine and newspaper interviews.. we were sent to a professional studio to do journalism training with big name journalists, who prepared us for tricky questions, how to avoid having our words twisted, and how to get our message across while remaining positive and upbeat. they did mock interviews of each of us, on film and made us watch them back as they picked good and bad points. i was put on the spot a few times and felt like i handled it quite well.. i must have because i was asked to do a BBC interview but unfortunately it collided with my thailand trip. 

on the 'friends and family night', before the grand opening, we were each allowed to bring two guests to a cocktail party at the playboy club, to which all the bunnies from the 1960's were also invited. i brought jerry and my girlfriend igne and we had a fabulous night, sipping champagne and talking to the old bunnies who told us they had the time of their lives as bunnies in the 60's. they were making more money than their fathers and they hung out with the rolling stones, the beatles, clint eastwood, frank sinatra and all the other celebs who were regular patrons back then. we did a little photo shoot in our bunny costumes and then had dinner in the playboy restaurant.

how the club and clientele would be was a huge mystery to us and extremely exciting, as was the prospect of big tips... rumours circulated about how much other croupiers in mayfair casinos were making and we began making plans for how we'd spend our fortunes...

after a fabulous wedding holiday, i'm struggling to get back into the grind. i guess every new job takes a bit to get used to..... the clientele are not exactly what we expected and neither are the tips but its still early days.. the best thing about the job is seeing all the bunnies each day... we get ready together in our 'bunny hutch', squeezing into our tailor made bunny suits, complaining about stolen ears and missing tails, bitching about annoying customers and graveyard shifts while curling our hair and donning our makeup. though we're desensitized to it now, it would be quite a surreal scene to an outsider... 

up on the gaming floor, its all about luck. superstition is thick in the air, dollar signs flash in everyones eyes as they test their luck, wait for their numbers to come up, curse and order 'change dealer' when the bunny deals them nothing, tips and 'darling' when the bunny spins their number. luck is everything.

'which number do you think i should i bet on?' the guy at my table asks me. 'i think you should listen to your heart'. i reply with a wink. he sizes up my bunny costume. 'your husband must be a very lucky man'.

;o)