mission: wipe-out

*what i loved about london was the opportunity for excitement.... it seemed that anything you dreamt of doing you could do in london... the book 'the secret'  which i'm reading at the moment, tells you that your life is exactly how you've wished and expected it to be, and that if you want something more, you must wish it into existence (that's a shitty summary of the book. there's so much more to it than that but read it for yourself if you haven't already :o)... i decided to put it out into the universe that i want some excitement in my life.... and sure enough the universe delivered.

i'd registered my profile with an extra agency online when i first arrived in stockholm and hadn't heard a peep from them til yesterday, when all of a sudden i got a phonecall from a man named kid.
kid: 'would you be interested in being a contestant on the tv show 'wipe-out'?'
me: 'isn't that filmed in argentina?'
kid: 'yes it is. of course all expenses would be paid by us'.
me: 'yes i'm interested'
kid: 'great. can you come to a casting tomorrow?'
me: 'yes i can'

oh.... my..... god!!! i hung up the phone, stunned like a mullet, then broke into a wild screaming jumping dancing fit. jerry was both insanely excited for me and insanely jealous... he loves that show and has always wanted to be in it...then he read the information email which included the magic words 'bring along your partner to the casting to enter the couples competition'!!! ... and for me: 'wear the costume that you plan to wear on the show if you go through'..... !!!!
we began to plan 'mission: win wipe-out' i had to think about my costume for about two seconds.... of course i have to go as a bunny.

jerry informed me that he has all it takes to win and that i better start going to the gym to strengthen up because if we lose because of me he may kill me. i had to remind him that it's thanks to me that he's even got a chance to be in the show!

we arrived at the casting today, me in a bunny costume and jerry in a smart bow-tie and short-pants suit. no-one else was dressed up. initially embarrassing till we realised it gave us the advantage.

we killed it in the interview. jerry told me i ate the camera. which must be a swedish expression for coming across well on film. it's all a bit of a blur now, because of the adrenalin, but i remember jumping at the chance to go first, shaking my bunny tail, singing 'hey big spender', saying a stupid thing in swedish which i thought rhymed but actually doesn't and demonstrating the scream i would do if i won.

the prize is 50,000 crowns. 9 days in buenos aires, all expenses paid.
though i don't know if i'm through yet... i just want to say thank you to the secret and to the universe.

:o)

välkommen!!

❄ today i had my swedish introduction class at the folk university.. the lovely teacher monika asked us questions in swedish to determine which level we were at before handing out the level test. after my turn she said 'anna, i dont think we'll bother giving you the test.. we'll just pop you straight in the beginners class' .... and there i was thinking i was pretty good for understanding all the questions! everyone else could answer them in swedish too! 

in the group there were students from egypt, brazil, palestine, eritrea, cuba, gambia and thailand... jerry's comment on that was 'i knew you'd be the only normal one'..(!)
i actually found it fascinating being amongst people from such exotic places, imagining the lives they'd come from and how they'd ended up in sweden of all places...

the teacher told us that the most important thing was to practise our swedish outside of the classroom as well. she asked all the students if we had swedish friends we could speak with and most of them said no! one woman said the only people she could practise on were her small children! i seemed to be the only one who has swedish friends here! in fact i dont know anyone here who isn't swedish! and for that i'm very lucky because they all can't wait for me to be able to speak swedish with them. jerry in particular is very excited about having a good laugh at me. he said he'd love to send a dictaphone along with me to class each day so he could listen back and take the piss.

in fact i know he's very happy that im learning his language (and living in his country) and that's why he's paying for everything and even spoiling me, working double shifts while i stay at home watching 'Idol'!.... though to be fair, i'm also being a very thorough housewife!

while everyone else in the class took the test, monika walked me down the corridor and told me i'll resume full time studies (7 hours a day) tomorrow morning. she showed me where my classroom would be and as we peeped our heads through the doorway, five happy, arabic-looking male faces turned around to greet me... 'välkommen!!!!'

:o)

the tournament

❉ jerry found a proper old-school black jack table in the classifieds, selling for an absolute bargain and we decided we just had to get it. it needs a bit of work; some sanding, a paint job etc, but i'tll be just perfect for the business idea we're conjuring up (which i'll tell you about as soon as we get the go-ahead from the 'lottery inspection' authorities)... :o)

while it's sitting in our apartment we figured we might as well give it some action. so last night we hosted a fabulous black jack tournament slash dinner party. jerry and i put together a sushi and pad thai feast and our friends jesper & rebecca and karin & matthias came over to eat and play.

the tournament was so much fun!! everyone put in 100 crowns each towards the pot so that the game would be more thrilling and i played the part of the bunny croupier, even pulling some bunny ears and a bow tie out of the closet. the more we drank, the more rowdy the game became and the more aggressively competitive everyone became until it was downright cut-throat..

rebecca got so edgy she had to turn away each time she drew a card, matthias refused to share his tricks, even telling karin she was on her own, jesper, who was sitting at the end of the table and drawing the last card, was angrily demanding the credit for everyone winning each time i busted. though being the dealer i couldnt win, even i became a little ruthless, whooping and jeering when i hit black jack and raked in their losing chips, offering shoddy advice on doubling and splitting and scolding them to stop touching their bets. but jerry was the worst, furiously screaming and cursing, chucking tantrums and punching the air, going off to sulk in the corner, calling people idiots, even threatening rebecca with a cattle prod every time she was a bit slow to place her bet. i had to remind him that it was just a game and just 100 crowns!...

matthias took the pot at the end, with rebecca coming in a close second. despite nearly murdering each other, everyone admitted it was a cracking night and that we absolutely must do it again soon...
:o)
 

the phallus

 ❊ today i trekked through the rain to the grungy south of stockholm city to meet my job coach, 'greta', a quirky and spirited lady with a fabulously wicked laugh. she's intent on helping me find my dream job and always has suggestions for events i might be interested in; joining a barbershop choir, meeting the famous artists and actors of stockholm at a media culture event, attending a start-your-own business fair...
she told me i was much calmer in today's session and that last time we'd met i'd seemed so hyperactive and bubbling with energy that she wondered if i needed to do some painting to calm down!

this diagnosis and remedy fascinated me... i realised i'd actually quite like to do some painting! i'd already searched online and found an amazing sounding life-drawing workshop called 'atelier stockholm' where you learn to draw the figure renaissance style.. i bought pencils and a drawing pad especially for it but every thursday night something else has come up and i've missed the class...

i'd also been meaning to go to the robert maplethorpe photography exhibition at the grand 'fotografiska' museum for ages, and today i finally went with my friend rebecca. what a fabulously shocking exhibition! there were so many huge black penises in that gallery that we couldn't stop gasping! the man was truly obsessed with the phallus! even his photos of flowers looked like penises! and mixed in with his self-portraits was one of him bending over with a leather whip dangling out of his anus! imagine how much more shocking his pictures would have been back in the 80's, especially during the aids epidemic... we discussed penises for quite a while and as we left, suspected that tonight our dreams will be swarming with penises!

:o)

stockholm, im back!

❉ so here i am, sitting at a candlelit window table in the cosy local restaurant/bar 'aubergine', nibbling at a chevre cheese salad with my laptop open and the bangles playing in the background... outside it's getting dark and cold, as autumn sets in over stockholm city.

how is it that i seem to have switched lives so quickly and so completely?! it was only the other day that i was living in london, working as a playboy bunny, dealing roulette in mayfair.... and last you heard from me, i hated it.
it was during this period that i took a holiday to visit jerry who was working for a few weeks at a festival in a quaint and lovely swedish island village called Visby. after a magical few days strolling the cobbled streets and drinking way too many cocktails, we flew across to stockholm for a friend's wedding.

as we were walking down busy Sveavägen, the sun shining down on us, Jerry stopped in the middle of the street and with a big cocky smile on his face, he took a big dramatized breath in. 'can you smell that?' he asked me.... 'what?' i asked with scorn, waiting for something ridiculous. 'the superiosity!!!'... he gloated.
'pfff, there's no such word!' i scoffed back at him. lately he'd become increasingly miserable in london and at every opportunity he'd rant on about how much better sweden was.
but i think the happiness i saw in him at that moment was what made me agree to move back to stockholm, that and the fact i wasn't really enjoying the bunny job.

and then, as it always is, after i made the decision, i instantly began to love the job, realised how much i loved london with its action, its opportunities, how its grey skies and dirty seedy streets had crept under my skin and into my heart.
my last day at playboy i was a mess. standing at the roulette table, wearing my bunny costume for the last time, i looked around at my bunnies who i'd been through such an amazing rollercoaster ride with, and who i realised i loved so dearly, and i couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my face... all day i was crying at the drop of a hat....

i cried when my best bunny friend yasmin finished her shift, i cried as i hugged 'the colonel' (one of our moody regular customers) goodbye, i cried to security as i handed in my bunny costume which i loved even though it was so tight it prevented me from breathing in and digesting food properly. i cried to my boss when he told me i'd always be welcome back and i sobbed on the shoulder of each and every inspector and bunny that i hugged goodbye.... if only i'd realised sooner how much i loved that place...

anyway, a change is as good as a holiday and though the goodbyes are hard, i'm always very fond of starting a fresh.....

i flew into stockholm with 80 kilograms of luggage that i somehow didn't have to pay any excess for, and that in actuality was my whole life.... though i do complain about being a gypsy nomad, i also do feel a little bit thankful that i have so few strings attached that i'm able to just pack up and move countries so easily.

i had a special feeling arriving in sweden again, knowing it would be my new home. i love sweden for its utopian social system, its clean and safe streets, its beautiful people, its free education, its amazing night-life.... and for the lovely friends we have here...
we were lucky enough to land a gorgeous cosy little apartment right downtown so that we can walk everywhere and rarely have to catch the tube...
and because i'm classified as a 'new swede', the government here is paying for me to study swedish full time and giving me an allowance while i study. they're paying a lady to be my own personal job coach and they'll pay any employer who hires me 80% of my salary... what a country!! if only australia was as welcoming to jerry :o/

we're still waiting on the australian visa decision so who knows how long we'll be here...but at least we're happy in the meantime....
:o)