Friday, October 7, 2011

The visa to Oz!!!!!!


❉ i was able to have a little sleep in this morning since my morning swedish class had been cancelled. when i woke up, jerry was still sound asleep, so i lay in bed and quietly checked my emails.

sitting there in my inbox was a message from our immigration lawyer. my heart skipped a beat. in an anxious panic i clicked the wrong button and sent it to the trash. i fumbled around to open it and quickly scanned over the first sentence..
'.....australian high commission..... jerry's visa....granted'..... i bolted upright, tears exploded from my eyes and i jumped on the sleeping jerry, pounding him and screaming directly into his ear 'WE GOT THE VISA, WE GOT THE VISA!!!' ... the poor thing was so worried and confused at being woken in such a way that he didn't know what was going on. i had to calm myself to get it through to him. 'we......got......the......visa.....!!!!!!!!!'

finally i can go home!

nobody can understand how big this is to me.... i've been traveling for many many years now, and it has been amazing and wonderful, i've met many very special people and had life experiences that i would never cash in...... but when i met jerry three years ago, i was feeling nearly ready to go home.... i was missing it.

we first applied for his visa over two years ago, so we've been waiting for it for two thirds of our entire relationship together! of course we've had loads of fun along the way, but for me there's always been that small sense of waiting... and now after all this time, we've finally got it! jerry cant quite believe it. he was expecting a rejection so this is a huge shock to him.

for breakfast i cracked open a bottle of champagne and we sat in bed and toasted the new australian. we skyped my mum and dad and they were so excited that they cracked open a bottle of bubbly too and drank with us!

i started this blog two years ago after we first applied for the visa. i called it 'the yellow brick road' because it would be about all my adventures on the journey home to Oz.... and now it seems that Oz is finally in sight... but don't worry, its not the end.... just the start of a new adventure! :o)

:o)




Wednesday, October 5, 2011

'It's showtime'!!



❊ i rushed straight from swedish class to mariatorget, where my google map lead me into a residential area thick with high-rise apartments. as i wobbled in my wedge-heels down side streets and alleys, through gardens and up stairwells, i finally found a warehouse garage door painted black, with 'IT'S SHOWTIME' stenciled on. for a brief moment i hesitated, before opening the door.

fifteen minutes later i found myself stripper-dancing in my jeans and bra, to an imaginary 'sausage man' sitting on a chair, with sleazy strip-club music playing... in the middle of a film set..... on film.

how the hell did that happen?! as far as i knew i was going to a casting for a TV commercial in which i would be an extra, dancing in the background at an after party!

when i walked into the warehouse, I was greeted by a small group of funky young girls and guys who were super cool and who worked in this awesome production studio. they showed me the story board for the tv commercial which was based on a giant sausage. the ad starts off with this sausage man  fist-fighting a famous politician as paparazzi snap away, then ends up at a seedy strip joint where lap-dancers in bikinis bump and grind him as he boozes it up. he then passes out and wakes up in the chair of a tattoo parlour, getting a horrible biker tattoo done and finally crawls back home to the fridge, where he slips back into a packet of sausages. i think the message is something to do with local insourcing...

it was the story board that sold me. it was brilliantly done and seemed like a very quirky concept, somewhat reminiscent of the 'hangover' movies. i told them i hadn't realised that it would be that type of dancing (that must be why the money is so good!) but that what the hell, i would have a crack at it anyway. 

there was no actual sausage man there for the casting, so i had to imagine him sitting on the chair as i danced. afterwards they told me i was very natural and that i'd obviously done it before (no i havent!!)... i guess maybe my burlesque and belly dance classes came in handy! ... as i walked back to the tube station i called jerry who's response was 'oh thats so exciting! i hope you get it!'

:o)

Thursday, September 29, 2011

mission: wipe-out



*what i loved about london was the opportunity for excitement.... it seemed that anything you dreamt of doing you could do in london... the book 'the secret'  which i'm reading at the moment, tells you that your life is exactly how you've wished and expected it to be, and that if you want something more, you must wish it into existence (that's a shitty summary of the book. there's so much more to it than that but read it for yourself if you haven't already :o)... i decided to put it out into the universe that i want some excitement in my life.... and sure enough the universe delivered.

i'd registered my profile with an extra agency online when i first arrived in stockholm and hadn't heard a peep from them til yesterday, when all of a sudden i got a phonecall from a man named kid.
kid: 'would you be interested in being a contestant on the tv show 'wipe-out'?'
me: 'isn't that filmed in argentina?'
kid: 'yes it is. of course all expenses would be paid by us'.
me: 'yes i'm interested'
kid: 'great. can you come to a casting tomorrow?'
me: 'yes i can'

oh.... my..... god!!! i hung up the phone, stunned like a mullet, then broke into a wild screaming jumping dancing fit. jerry was both insanely excited for me and insanely jealous... he loves that show and has always wanted to be in it...then he read the information email which included the magic words 'bring along your partner to the casting to enter the couples competition'!!! ... and for me: 'wear the costume that you plan to wear on the show if you go through'..... !!!!
we began to plan 'mission: win wipe-out' i had to think about my costume for about two seconds.... of course i have to go as a bunny.

jerry informed me that he has all it takes to win and that i better start going to the gym to strengthen up because if we lose because of me he may kill me. i had to remind him that it's thanks to me that he's even got a chance to be in the show!

we arrived at the casting today, me in a bunny costume and jerry in a smart bow-tie and short-pants suit. no-one else was dressed up. initially embarrassing till we realised it gave us the advantage.

we killed it in the interview. jerry told me i ate the camera. which must be a swedish expression for coming across well on film. it's all a bit of a blur now, because of the adrenalin, but i remember jumping at the chance to go first, shaking my bunny tail, singing 'hey big spender', saying a stupid thing in swedish which i thought rhymed but actually doesn't and demonstrating the scream i would do if i won.

the prize is 50,000 crowns. 9 days in buenos aires, all expenses paid.
though i don't know if i'm through yet... i just want to say thank you to the secret and to the universe.

:o)





Tuesday, September 27, 2011

välkommen!!


❄ today i had my swedish introduction class at the folk university.. the lovely teacher monika asked us questions in swedish to determine which level we were at before handing out the level test. after my turn she said 'anna, i dont think we'll bother giving you the test.. we'll just pop you straight in the beginners class' .... and there i was thinking i was pretty good for understanding all the questions! everyone else could answer them in swedish too! 

in the group there were students from egypt, brazil, palestine, eritrea, cuba, gambia and thailand... jerry's comment on that was 'i knew you'd be the only normal one'..(!)
i actually found it fascinating being amongst people from such exotic places, imagining the lives they'd come from and how they'd ended up in sweden of all places...

the teacher told us that the most important thing was to practise our swedish outside of the classroom as well. she asked all the students if we had swedish friends we could speak with and most of them said no! one woman said the only people she could practise on were her small children! i seemed to be the only one who has swedish friends here! in fact i dont know anyone here who isn't swedish! and for that i'm very lucky because they all can't wait for me to be able to speak swedish with them. jerry in particular is very excited about having a good laugh at me. he said he'd love to send a dictaphone along with me to class each day so he could listen back and take the piss.

in fact i know he's very happy that im learning his language (and living in his country) and that's why he's paying for everything and even spoiling me, working double shifts while i stay at home watching 'Idol'!.... though to be fair, i'm also being a very thorough housewife!

while everyone else in the class took the test, monika walked me down the corridor and told me i'll resume full time studies (7 hours a day) tomorrow morning. she showed me where my classroom would be and as we peeped our heads through the doorway, five happy, arabic-looking male faces turned around to greet me... 'välkommen!!!!'

:o)




Friday, September 23, 2011

the tournament


❉ jerry found a proper old-school black jack table in the classifieds, selling for an absolute bargain and we decided we just had to get it. it needs a bit of work; some sanding, a paint job etc, but i'tll be just perfect for the business idea we're conjuring up (which i'll tell you about as soon as we get the go-ahead from the 'lottery inspection' authorities)... :o)

while it's sitting in our apartment we figured we might as well give it some action. so last night we hosted a fabulous black jack tournament slash dinner party. jerry and i put together a sushi and pad thai feast and our friends jesper & rebecca and karin & matthias came over to eat and play.

the tournament was so much fun!! everyone put in 100 crowns each towards the pot so that the game would be more thrilling and i played the part of the bunny croupier, even pulling some bunny ears and a bow tie out of the closet. the more we drank, the more rowdy the game became and the more aggressively competitive everyone became until it was downright cut-throat..

rebecca got so edgy she had to turn away each time she drew a card, matthias refused to share his tricks, even telling karin she was on her own, jesper, who was sitting at the end of the table and drawing the last card, was angrily demanding the credit for everyone winning each time i busted. though being the dealer i couldnt win, even i became a little ruthless, whooping and jeering when i hit black jack and raked in their losing chips, offering shoddy advice on doubling and splitting and scolding them to stop touching their bets. but jerry was the worst, furiously screaming and cursing, chucking tantrums and punching the air, going off to sulk in the corner, calling people idiots, even threatening rebecca with a cattle prod every time she was a bit slow to place her bet. i had to remind him that it was just a game and just 100 crowns!...

matthias took the pot at the end, with rebecca coming in a close second. despite nearly murdering each other, everyone admitted it was a cracking night and that we absolutely must do it again soon...
:o)
 

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

the phallus

 ❊ today i trekked through the rain to the grungy south of stockholm city to meet my job coach, 'greta', a quirky and spirited lady with a fabulously wicked laugh. she's intent on helping me find my dream job and always has suggestions for events i might be interested in; joining a barbershop choir, meeting the famous artists and actors of stockholm at a media culture event, attending a start-your-own business fair...
she told me i was much calmer in today's session and that last time we'd met i'd seemed so hyperactive and bubbling with energy that she wondered if i needed to do some painting to calm down!

this diagnosis and remedy fascinated me... i realised i'd actually quite like to do some painting! i'd already searched online and found an amazing sounding life-drawing workshop called 'atelier stockholm' where you learn to draw the figure renaissance style.. i bought pencils and a drawing pad especially for it but every thursday night something else has come up and i've missed the class...

i'd also been meaning to go to the robert maplethorpe photography exhibition at the grand 'fotografiska' museum for ages, and today i finally went with my friend rebecca. what a fabulously shocking exhibition! there were so many huge black penises in that gallery that we couldn't stop gasping! the man was truly obsessed with the phallus! even his photos of flowers looked like penises! and mixed in with his self-portraits was one of him bending over with a leather whip dangling out of his anus! imagine how much more shocking his pictures would have been back in the 80's, especially during the aids epidemic... we discussed penises for quite a while and as we left, suspected that tonight our dreams will be swarming with penises!

:o)

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

stockholm, im back!


❉ so here i am, sitting at a candlelit window table in the cosy local restaurant/bar 'aubergine', nibbling at a chevre cheese salad with my laptop open and the bangles playing in the background... outside it's getting dark and cold, as autumn sets in over stockholm city.

how is it that i seem to have switched lives so quickly and so completely?! it was only the other day that i was living in london, working as a playboy bunny, dealing roulette in mayfair.... and last you heard from me, i hated it.
it was during this period that i took a holiday to visit jerry who was working for a few weeks at a festival in a quaint and lovely swedish island village called Visby. after a magical few days strolling the cobbled streets and drinking way too many cocktails, we flew across to stockholm for a friend's wedding.

as we were walking down busy Sveavägen, the sun shining down on us, Jerry stopped in the middle of the street and with a big cocky smile on his face, he took a big dramatized breath in. 'can you smell that?' he asked me.... 'what?' i asked with scorn, waiting for something ridiculous. 'the superiosity!!!'... he gloated.
'pfff, there's no such word!' i scoffed back at him. lately he'd become increasingly miserable in london and at every opportunity he'd rant on about how much better sweden was.
but i think the happiness i saw in him at that moment was what made me agree to move back to stockholm, that and the fact i wasn't really enjoying the bunny job.

and then, as it always is, after i made the decision, i instantly began to love the job, realised how much i loved london with its action, its opportunities, how its grey skies and dirty seedy streets had crept under my skin and into my heart.
my last day at playboy i was a mess. standing at the roulette table, wearing my bunny costume for the last time, i looked around at my bunnies who i'd been through such an amazing rollercoaster ride with, and who i realised i loved so dearly, and i couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my face... all day i was crying at the drop of a hat....

i cried when my best bunny friend yasmin finished her shift, i cried as i hugged 'the colonel' (one of our moody regular customers) goodbye, i cried to security as i handed in my bunny costume which i loved even though it was so tight it prevented me from breathing in and digesting food properly. i cried to my boss when he told me i'd always be welcome back and i sobbed on the shoulder of each and every inspector and bunny that i hugged goodbye.... if only i'd realised sooner how much i loved that place...

anyway, a change is as good as a holiday and though the goodbyes are hard, i'm always very fond of starting a fresh.....

i flew into stockholm with 80 kilograms of luggage that i somehow didn't have to pay any excess for, and that in actuality was my whole life.... though i do complain about being a gypsy nomad, i also do feel a little bit thankful that i have so few strings attached that i'm able to just pack up and move countries so easily.

i had a special feeling arriving in sweden again, knowing it would be my new home. i love sweden for its utopian social system, its clean and safe streets, its beautiful people, its free education, its amazing night-life.... and for the lovely friends we have here...
we were lucky enough to land a gorgeous cosy little apartment right downtown so that we can walk everywhere and rarely have to catch the tube...
and because i'm classified as a 'new swede', the government here is paying for me to study swedish full time and giving me an allowance while i study. they're paying a lady to be my own personal job coach and they'll pay any employer who hires me 80% of my salary... what a country!! if only australia was as welcoming to jerry :o/

we're still waiting on the australian visa decision so who knows how long we'll be here...but at least we're happy in the meantime....
:o)





 

Friday, July 15, 2011

piss


❉ standing at roulette table 2 with no customers, goose-bumps from the loathed air-conditioner that mistakenly thinks it's summer outside in london, busting to pee and wishing away the long hours of my last day of work before my weekend.

shift work has completely knackered me. according to a tv show my brother watched, shift-workers are 3 times more likely to get cancer. apparently your body clock is set from birth and you can't adjust it. your body will only heal itself during certain hours of the night, if you're sleeping.... 

my body clock has no idea what time it is, what day it is, who's body its in, when it will sleep next... and when i do sleep it's a shallow, tortured slumber, racked with harrowing nightmares. i turn around to roulette table 1 to ask Bunny M if she's been sleeping well... she tells me she's been sleep-walking, dreaming of gypsy thieves, and woken to find herself sitting at the end of the bed in the dark, flicking her cigarette lighter on and off in front of her face! though it sounds quite scary, i cant help but laugh, which makes me need to pee even more.

a customer joins my table and my laughter fades. there's nothing to laugh about around these gamblers. the other night when one particularly rude customer lost all his money in one spin, i couldn't help but sneak a quick smirk and he almost pounced at me 'Its not funny!!' ....'of course it's not sir. i was thinking about something else.' i responded, pondering whether karma is wild and rampant in casinos.

when my table is empty again, i turn around to ask Bunny M how she responds to rude customers. 'i do the devil symbol with my hand at them under the table'.
i look at her demonstrating under the table and she's doing that rock-n-roll hand gesture!! now i'm cackling uncontrollably.

the thing is i'm not really enjoying being a croupier. and i'm missing jerry desperately. everything reminds me of him;  the number 24 on my roulette wheel reminds me of him, katy perry singing on the radio reminds me of him.... even my burning bloody UTI reminds me of jerry.

it was in sweden the last time i had a UTI this bad, just after i'd had my boobs done and couldn't get out of bed without help. i was in agony from surgery and the UTI had attacked me while i was down. knowing that i'd be busting all night, and wouldn't be able to get up to go to the toilet, i asked jerry whether he minded if i just lay a towel down and piss the bed if i needed to. he agreed. that to me is the definition of true love.

'i'm on the edge' i say to Bunny M. i dont mean just the pee, i mean everything. the job, london, everything... maybe i'm just missing jerry..

:o)

Thursday, July 7, 2011

graveyarding, chick-fixing, slide-showing, miss-mia-meowing, jerry missing, me-time :o)

 spot me in the picture?

✥ i've just finished a week of the 'graveyard shift' at work. 6am -2pm, which means waking up at 4am and going to bed at 8pm....very wierd at first. normally i'm coming home from work at 4am so it took a night of tossing and turning in bed, sculling a bottle of rescue remedy, counting sheep and listening to meditation podcasts to get me into the sleeping pattern. but after a while i enjoyed the graveyard... walking to the bus stop in the fresh dawn, the streets deserted and quiet, knowing i was up before everyone else and making the most of the morning, the big english breakfast served at work, loads of breaks because there were no customers.... it was alright for a week.

jerry's in sweden for the whole of july, working at a club on a swedish island that hosts a big party festival every summer. he's done it for years and loves it, so i'm happy for him but i also miss him! so i've decided to use all this 'me time' that i have on my hands as productively as possible. i've absorbed myself into a couple of great books, i've been playing around recording some songs on my laptop with 'garageband' which is really fun to use, i've been getting back into my tarot cards, been shopping for sushi-making ingredients, writing letters to my grandparents and watching period dramas which jerry refuses to watch with me.

and lots is going on right now to keep me from despairing at jerry's absence...
the reality tv show that i was involved in earlier this year, 'house of grazia', has since been renamed 'chick fix' (i think i preferred the former :o/) and is now airing on sky living! it's quite exciting, though i'm sure ill be embarrassed at how i come across on film, as usual... it should be a good watch, so if you have sky, here's the link:
http://skyliving.sky.com/top-shows/chick-fix#girls

the student film 'miss mia meows' that i worked on set for late last year had its premiere while i was away in thailand. i was so disappointed to miss it, since i had loved so much working on set for it. though i originally got the job as assistant art director, i was also asked to fill in for an extra that didn't show and that was loads of fun! i watched a sneak preview on the London college of communication webiste and spotted myself in one of the first scenes, walking into the bar in a blue velvet dress with a fox hanging over my shoulder... see if you can spot me:
http://www.lcc.arts.ac.uk/showcase/video-showcase/ba-film-and-television%20graduation-trailers-2011/

our wedding photographer pam has just sent us a slideshow of photos from the wedding. i've been eagerly awaiting these photos and was overjoyed at how they turned out. in the background of the slideshow is the song i sang to jerry at the wedding and the song my brother sang as i came down the aisle (walked across the beach)...the whole slideshow is so beautiful that i cried for 10 minutes straight while watching it, then had to watch it again and cry again. i just cant believe what a wonderful job she's done of it... i feel like the whole mood of the day and night has been captured. if you'd like to see it, here's the link:
http://www.pamfolio.com/galleries/annajerry/

tomorrow night jerry comes back to london for the weekend to work at the club. im missing him so much ive decided to follow him to work!  it'll also be nice to see all my old colleagues who i havent seen since i quit to work for playboy...

tonight im curling up in bed to watch my new period drama 'mildred pierce', with some chai tea and some cadbury's chocolate....

peace to you all

:o)

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

the game of chance





'he must love you a lot'.... i'm caught off guard by the punter standing to the side of my table, admiring my wedding ring which twinkles in the casino lighting. 'what's your name sweetheart?'... 'im bunny anna'.

after two months of intense bunny training, im now a qualified croupier and playboy bunny! me and 50 other lovely london bunnies can be found on the roulette and black jack tables of the world famous playboy club, just re-opended in mayfair, london.

i kept very hush-hush throughout the training, partially due to a clause on social-networking about playboy, but mainly because i was too busy to blog. i squeezed the full time bunny training around my nanny job and my weekend job at the club and was working 70 hour weeks with double shifts back to back on fridays and saturdays, all while planning a wedding! it was a marvelous feat if i do say so myself!

the 10 week training was fabulous. the main point was to learn roulette, which seems like a very easy game of chance where the croupier just spins the ball and hands out chips, but in actual fact it's extremely complex, with strict rules on procedures and it requires mathematical skills verging on genius. as bunny croupiers, we were to learn to do it all with 'style, flair and grace'. eyes up, shoulders back, playboy pinky fingers extended, smile!, voissin by fifty, 5, 8, 10 and 11 and the neighbours by 5, 'no more bets thank you!!'

while we learnt we laughed, we cried, and we forged amazing friendships. after all, we were 50 girls, london's finest and loveliest, all in the same position, all searching for some excitement, some glitz and glamour, to be a part of the history making as london playboy club re-opens after 50 years...

each week, different managers and high profiles would come to watch us practise, so we were to be perfectly groomed every day. high heels, glossy hair, manicured nails, dressed in our best. it sounds exhausting but we loved it! an excuse to dress up and look fabulous each day! the PR team would also come in to choose different girls for various publicity jobs; playboy perfume tv ad bunnies, Union Jack bunnies who would meet and greet with Heff at the grand opening, Grand Prix bunnies, Monaco private yacht bunnies, bunnies sent to Marbella, Catwalk bunnies and Media bunnies.

i was overjoyed to be chosen as a media bunny, who are to do all tv, magazine and newspaper interviews.. we were sent to a professional studio to do journalism training with big name journalists, who prepared us for tricky questions, how to avoid having our words twisted, and how to get our message across while remaining positive and upbeat. they did mock interviews of each of us, on film and made us watch them back as they picked good and bad points. i was put on the spot a few times and felt like i handled it quite well.. i must have because i was asked to do a BBC interview but unfortunately it collided with my thailand trip. 

on the 'friends and family night', before the grand opening, we were each allowed to bring two guests to a cocktail party at the playboy club, to which all the bunnies from the 1960's were also invited. i brought jerry and my girlfriend igne and we had a fabulous night, sipping champagne and talking to the old bunnies who told us they had the time of their lives as bunnies in the 60's. they were making more money than their fathers and they hung out with the rolling stones, the beatles, clint eastwood, frank sinatra and all the other celebs who were regular patrons back then. we did a little photo shoot in our bunny costumes and then had dinner in the playboy restaurant.

how the club and clientele would be was a huge mystery to us and extremely exciting, as was the prospect of big tips... rumours circulated about how much other croupiers in mayfair casinos were making and we began making plans for how we'd spend our fortunes...

after a fabulous wedding holiday, i'm struggling to get back into the grind. i guess every new job takes a bit to get used to..... the clientele are not exactly what we expected and neither are the tips but its still early days.. the best thing about the job is seeing all the bunnies each day... we get ready together in our 'bunny hutch', squeezing into our tailor made bunny suits, complaining about stolen ears and missing tails, bitching about annoying customers and graveyard shifts while curling our hair and donning our makeup. though we're desensitized to it now, it would be quite a surreal scene to an outsider... 

up on the gaming floor, its all about luck. superstition is thick in the air, dollar signs flash in everyones eyes as they test their luck, wait for their numbers to come up, curse and order 'change dealer' when the bunny deals them nothing, tips and 'darling' when the bunny spins their number. luck is everything.

'which number do you think i should i bet on?' the guy at my table asks me. 'i think you should listen to your heart'. i reply with a wink. he sizes up my bunny costume. 'your husband must be a very lucky man'.

;o)

Thursday, June 23, 2011

newlyweds





 


"There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage".  ~Martin Luther

i found that written in our wedding guest book, by my godmother, neatly written amongst all the other warm wishes and declarations of love, scrawled by our half-pissed friends and family on the magical night of our wedding.....

yes, i am now a married woman. i know i abandoned you for a while there readers, but now i am back, and i am back a Missus.
'do you feel different?' all the bunnies ask me... i think about it... 'not really', except for when i have to refer to jerry as my husband. that makes me feel married..., old..., out of the game.....all of which i am.
and life feels different now. not because i'm a wife, but because for over a year we'd been planning our wedding. it was a creative outlet for me, in styling and designing the outfits and accessories, the decorations and table decor, the special activities that would make the night so unique and magical. it swallowed all my spare time but it was something to look forward to...

now i don't quite know what to do with myself, other than wallow in my bed, scrolling through the hundreds of wedding photos again and again, trying to relive that wonderful day, moment by moment, milk ever last bit of energy from it, that perfect day that i never wanted to end.

i know most brides will say that their wedding day was the best days of their lives, but let me tell you that mine in particular was a cracking bloody wedding. everyone there said so and i know they weren't just saying it. i could see it in their faces, their sweaty smiling faces as they danced around in bare feet, drunk and happy and having the time of their lives.

it was what dreams are made of; set on a beach in tropical paradise (koh samui, thailand) with the warm sea breeze, the canopy of coconut trees strung with pink fairy lights, white linen tables on the sand, a delicious thai buffet, live music by the fabulous sam & sam, and 80 of the people we love most in the world, all together for the first time, celebrating love in general, and mine and jerry's love in particular.

my bridesmaids looked heavenly in their pastel silk skirts, their vintage hair and pearls, their beautiful faces done up so they looked like 1940's hollywood starlets. we crowded into the thai fishing boat, our skirts filling it with a pool of colour, the sea around us a calm bliss in contrast to our nervous excitement, as we glimpsed the guests on the beach in the distance, all waiting for us to arrive. dad helped me out of the boat and onto shore, looking dapper in his suspenders and fedora. with one arm in his and the other holding my lace parasol, i walked along the beach knowing that this was the moment, the feeling that i would remember forever.

jerry and his handsome groomsmen were lined up at the tent in their tailored ivory suits and waistcoats and my heart just melted when i looked at jerry, so clean-cut and gorgeous and just as overwhelmed with happiness as i was. i heard mass weeping as i neared the tent and seeing my mum's tear-streaked face made me choke up for a second, but then i held it together...

we were married by my godmother in a beautiful ceremony on the sand, which was followed by a buddhist monk blessing and a love-tree plantation, both organised by the resort and which turned out to be very quirky and novel. the dinner was lovely, scattered with heartfelt and humorous speeches. mine and jerry's was last and we had to wing it. we'd had too much to organise to think about a speech. but we thanked everyone and at the end i announced my surprise for jerry. i'd learnt a beautiful song by angus and julia stone called 'the wedding song' and my brother came up on stage to accompany me singing it. it was about building a life together and making babies on the beach under the stardust. it was so perfect for the occasion that it seemed to have been written for us and i sang it to jerry as he cried, along with everyone else.

the night was perfect. the people from the resort had been at the temple praying for no rain and buddha must have heard them because it rained every day that week except for our wedding day. we had a beautiful overcast sky, perfect for photography and as the sun set over the water behind us, the sky turned purple. we had a polynesian dance show, fire twirlers and then we all lit 80 paper sky lanterns and sent them off in the sky together. later on kevin and steve put on a fireworks display on the beach, which was a surprise present to us. we had the bouquet toss and the garter throw and then on the stage sam and sam started an open-mic show where all the singers from the party (and there were loads!) got up to perform while everyone danced along. mum did her famous tina turner impression while we aussies taught the swedes to dance the nutbush. we twirled our skirts on that grass dance floor til 3am. then i dragged jerry from the beach to bed.

we couldn't have imagined a better wedding. it really was magical.
after an amazing two weeks in thailand, we said sad goodbyes to our families and friends and returned to london to begin a new chapter of life.... as newlyweds.
love to you all... its nice to be blogging again!

Monday, March 7, 2011

I'm back!! Did you miss me?

I'm lounging in a hotel room in Reading, waiting for my room service to arrive (a grilled vegetable salad with roquette and toasted pumpkin seeds and a glass of merlot) compliments of House of Grazia, where I'm headed back to tomorrow for day 3 of filming.. Im so excited!! I'm sure they have lots of surprises in store for me, which I have to keep hush hush about (oh the mystery and the intrigue!)

Sorry for being such a slackarse blogger.. It's been a monkey on my shoulder this whole time since my last blog.. My excuse is that Apple have robbed me of my darling beloved MacBook (as well as an arm and a leg to pay to fix it) and I'm quite lost without it. In fact I feel like my whole life has spun completely out of control without it!! Though jerry has kindly offered me the use of his ipad, I haven't warmed to the thing (have nearly thrown it across the room on several occasions).. It just doesn't love me the way my little laptop does, with it's friendly and familiar screensaver, all my folders of fun and folly, my years worth of photos, my music collection, my gathered bits and pieces, my shortcuts, my lists, my spreadsheets, my wedding planning stuff (!!), my blog inspiration...
Hopefully she'll be returned to me soon with all data intact..

Anyways, what's happened since my last blog...? Lots!!

SWEDISH RESIDENCY
I was granted my permanent Swedish residency!!! Only two weeks after applying!! As they slipped the sticker into my passport at the Swedish embassy, I turned to Jerry with a big grin on my face. His grin was even bigger. 'so my little swedie, are you going to be a good resident and learn the language now?' ..... 'hmmmph... I guess so :o('

WEDDING PLANNING
Jerry and I are paying for the wedding ourselves. We didn't want money from our parents, who firstly, don't have any, and secondly don't expect us to get married (mine aren't even married.. Actually I'm pretty sure jerry's aren't either!)... This means we've had to make a budget, based on how much we can save from our salaries, and try to stick to it... Jerry tries harder than I do. I have the tendency to see something I love and completely disregard the budget. This happened, for instance, with the wedding ring.... I found the most stunning ring, a wreath of glistening diamonds, wrapping all the way around the finger so that any which way you wave your hand around, it leaves a trail of flashes and sparkles... As I slid it onto my finger I had a fairytale moment, like I'd magically transformed into a princess. Just to set the record straight, I've never been a diamond-sort-of-girl; I originally didn't even want one on my engagement ring, it was Jerry who insisted.. But this ring...!
Anyway, it was over twice what our budget allowed, but that didn't stop me begging and pleading, then yelling and screaming. The hugest argument ensued in which we both threatened to return to our own countries, called the wedding off, then retracted only because our guests had already booked tickets and decided to go ahead with it but get divorced straight afterwards, we hissed and cursed at each other, spat the most disgusting insults that we could muster up.. I'm sure if we owned swords we would have duelled til the death!
Jerry called me superficial, materialistic, a fraud, a different girl than the one he'd fallen in live with.. I called him a tight-fisted, penny-pincher. He reminded me that he'd paid for my boobs and our holiday to Thailand among other things. I took it back sheepishly and instead called him a miserable grumpy old man.
It ended like all our arguments, with Jerry taking most of the blame and me admitting to a very small amount. :o)
Then hugs and kisses and 'i love you's as usual..
I agreed to consider other rings though I'm still secretly hoping I can hack him down with guilt and my feminine persuasion...

THE 80's PARTY
One of the things I love most about working for 'the club' is the steady stream of staff parties!! The 80's party weekend before last was an absolute rip-snorter!! Of course anything to do with dressing up in costumes makes me jump for joy, and most interestingly, (and something I consider a personal victory) is that Jerry who once detested and downright refused to dress up in fancy dress, now loves it like me!! He even suggested a shopping trip to primark for the occasion!!
The 1980's is a particularly fun theme since it's so colourful and eccentric. Walking to the tube station in our fluro colours, glittery spikes and Mohawk, fingerless gloves, Michael Jackson badges, Jerry in MY slashed jeans, we looked around and realized how boring, fashionwise, the twenty teens (or whatever the hell you call this decade) are... Everyone was in black and grey!!
We proceeded to the party where we got very pissed on free booze and the flashes I have of the night are of stealing drink tickets from the non-drinkers, having a lap-dance-off on stage with Abas and Fannie, crying because I didn't say goodbye to Luis before he left, rolling around on the carpet with my boss, popping the tyres in the taxi, roaming the streets with top-gun sandy and a group of others, getting into an argument with a club promoter and calling the cops, waking up (with Jerry) in phil's bed while he had to sleep on the couch, and doing the walk of shame home with tattered torquoise tights, a matted Mohawk and purple eyeshadow smeared across a very hungover face. Oh dear...
I was, and still am a child of the 80's...

Gotta go to bed. Must be fresh for house of Grazia.

Love, and other catstrophes
Anna xxxx




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, February 25, 2011

Much ado about nothing

Ahhhh!! My laptop is dead!!! It died in it's sleep the other night, just packed it in and died... I'm so lost without it! Im waiting for an appointment with apple to (hopefully) recucitate it and I'm praying that my data isn't lost since I have my whole life inside that thing, and no back-up on hard drive...I Learnt that lesson the hard way huh...

Anyways, the exciting news since my last blog is that 'house of grazia' called me to tell me that one of the girls pulled out at the last minute and was i still interested in being in the show, and if so, could I catch the train out to their mystery country estate the following evening..!! I was over the moon! I just knew i was supposed to be in it!! I organised a replacement nanny for miss a and packed a bag with my prettiest things...

On the train i signed a legally binding contract to not disclose any details of the goings on of the following few days until after the show has screened...!! How frustrating!! I wish I could but I can't.. I think I'm allowed to say that it was a great experience and I'm really looking forward to going back to the house next month! For anyone who has access to 'sky lifestyle' on tv, the show will be on in June.. I'll let you know which date..

So, well, I guess it's much ado about nothing then...
Sorry for the boring blog!

Xx

Friday, February 18, 2011

to love and marriage, (and black jack and bunnies)

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❉ since its been so long since my last blog, ive decided to write an extra long one to make up for it.. drop off as soon as you get bored... :o)

today my 'playboy bunny pack' arrived in the mail. what excitement!! the bunnies will be filling various roles such as receptionist, cashier, cocktail waitress, hostess and croupier. when i received the million dollar phone-call from playboy, their offer to me was for a job as a croupier, for which they would give me two months of paid training. i was thrilled!!! i imagined myself becoming a professional card shark, playing black jack and poker all night, spinning that roulette wheel and dishing out all the winning chips, of course receiving the £1000 chip tips here and there from the high-rollers who'd be regulars at my table... after all, it is an exclusive members club with high membership fees so there's no piss-farting around here.

oh, i've always loved the vibe at casinos and this is gonna be a really fun one! i'm also very excited to wear the iconic bunny costume, which will be tailor-made to fit my curves... is it strange that i'm happy to wear such a skimpy little costume to work everyday? i guess there are a lot of women out there who would never dream of it (wouldn't or couldn't do it) and some who would even disapprove and criticize, and to such people i say 'go and have some fun!'

i suppose it's quite a contentious issue; whether such roles objectify women. we don't and won't ever all agree on it, but it's still interesting to debate. i've never been prudish about my body (perhaps from growing up with hippy parents), in fact i've done life-modelling for art since i was 15. i don't have any medieval notions of the body being sinful. i don't mind flashing a bit of skin and i love wearing costumes... i've been called an exhibitionist more than once, and maybe i am... feeling sexy to me is empowering rather than degrading. i don't feel like a sex object, i feel like a sexual human being, and there's nothing unusual or wrong with that. if women want to wear burkhas to avoid tempting men with their flesh, then they can go ahead, but i'll take the bunny costume over the burkha any day of the week...

one of the great things about jerry is that he encourages me to do whatever makes me happy. there would be some boys who wouldn't like their wife-to-be to get a job as a playboy bunny. jerry's totally supportive and even excited for me! the count-down to the wedding is at the four-month point now and though we've managed to organise a lot of things (the resort, the flights, the invitations, the celebrant, my bridesmaids outfits, the catering and the cake) there's still a whole lot left to organise; the band, the songs, the rings, the vows, the speeches, the table settings... it goes on and on really...  who would've ever thought planning a wedding was such a massive job!!

for once, something was very easy and that was me applying for swedish residency. we figured that it'll be handy for me to have, since we'll move to sweden if jerry's visa application doesn't get through fort knox, otherwise known as australian immigration. at the swedish embassy i was ushered into a small cubicle, and asked questions about my relationship with jerry. at the end of the interview the lady told me i should be granted permanent swedish residency in 8 weeks time!!! ... it seemed too easy to be true!!! we did some googling on 'permanent residency' and apparently it means i can live there, work there, study there for free, and even be entitled to government financial support while i'm studying! what a country!!

of course australia is our plan A. we've just sent off the huge package of documents (which took 6 months just to gather) to our immigration lawyer and in 6-8 months time we might get a response... my brother went through the same ball-breaking process with his costa rican wife, and today is their australian wedding, which i'm very sad to be missing... i spent my evening last night writing a speech, to be read on my behalf by my little brother. i was pretty happy with it in the end.

i take some credit for their relationship, since i was the one who invited caro to a big party we were hosting at our hillside costa rican villa, where my brother met her for the first time. i remember seeing her coming up the driveway, squashed between our two friends english-joe and cyril, in english-joe's army jeep.. i did a double take, having to look twice at her because she was so beautiful. i wondered who this gorgeous girl was, it couldn't possibly be either of their girlfriends since she was far too pretty for them... (my brother has definitely succeeded in batting over his average!)

when my brother and caro started dating i transformed into the psycho jealous evil sister from hell and tried everything to sabotage their romance. i think i even tried to have her kicked out of our cocktail bar one night when they were caught kissing in the VIP room. i definitely handed her her bill before she asked for it... i was just jealous, probably because he'd found love and i hadn't, but also because my brother and best friend in costa rica was being stolen away from me...

when i got to know caro, i realised why my brother had fallen in love with her. she's a rare species like him; lovely, kind, warm-hearted, generous, golden, eternally good.... she welcomed us into her home when we'd lost everything and had no money and nowhere to live. though the cocktail bar had been the best experience of our lives, it also caused us a years worth of hair-pulling, gut-wrenching anxiety and stress. when we moved in with caro, we enjoyed the simple things in life again..cooking, watching movies, laughing. i discovered caro is also hilarious! and she made my brother happy...

i directed my little brother to make a toast at the end of my speech, with a favourite little quote of mine, by michael luenig... 'love each other and you will be happy, it's as simple and as difficult as that'.....

cheers to love and marriage, to my own and to everyone else's. may you all find someone to love who loves you in return, but most of all, who makes you happy...

:o)

Thursday, February 10, 2011

vomiting bunny (cuniculus vomitus)

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✽ i arrived yesterday morning at miss a's house, feeling a bit funny in the stomach. i tried to toughen up like a good princess, and since it was sunny outside (for once) i dressed miss a up (i love putting together cute outfits from her wardrobe) and took her down kings road for ice-cream. she's so adorable that strangers are constantly complimenting me on her and i have to say that i don't always admit to them that i'm just her nanny.    

when we arrived home i had to rush to the bathroom because something evil and sinister, vile, diabolically foul was brewing inside me and had to spontaneously explode its way out, by any means necessary. i've never vomited through my nose before. it was quite an experience...

in my intervals between bathroom runs, i lay curled up on the couch, groaning in pain, my stomach a tight fist, with miss a running around me chirping 'anna, come chase me! anna come dance with me! '... she followed me into the toilet 'anna's doing wee-wees again'.... 'no sweetie, this isn't wee-wees, i don't think you wanna see this''...

whilst staggering back to the couch, the vague stench of sour vomit hovering around me, my eyes two black holes in my yellow face, my phone began to ring. it was tina from playboy. 'congratulations on becoming a playboy bunny! you made it through the final casting!!'
with all my will i mustered up the strength to sound excited and happy... (of course today i was!!!)

miss a's mum came home early, sent me in a cab straight home to bed, where jerry took care of me, fed me yoghurt, patted my head and told me i'd be much better in the morning... which i was.

:o)

Sunday, February 6, 2011

❤ emma charlotte

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✩ thursday was the day of the final bunny casting! my aussie girlfriend leah arrived on the same day for an overnight visit on her way to paris, and it was lovely to see her again! she needed a gown for a ball and the dress i'd ordered last minute online for my bunny-casting had arrived big, baggy and saggy so i was very keen to accompany leah on a shopping spree down oxford street.

almost directly after leaving the house, the high heel snapped off one of my boots (previously believed to be chloe, but obviously not!) and as i hopped along through the crowds on oxford circus with one flat and one high-heeled boot, i wondered that my morning of small mishaps might be some sort of omen and that perhaps if i'd been superstitious and checked one of those chinese daily fortune almanacs it would have told me that the stars were not in alignment for my good fortune that day.... ahh, would i have similar bad luck with the bunny casting??! ...with the clock ticking til bunny time, my nerves began fraying at the edges and it took all my energy to not break down in a panic attack!

after rampaging all the dress shops along oxford and regent streets, leah finally found a stunning black gown and i a gorgeous little black mini frock, perfect for winning friends and influencing people...(fingers crossed)

back at home i got ready in record time, with the help of a hot iron and a straight shot of gin and i was off to the party in leicester square feeling ready to knock em dead. 50 pretty little potential bunnies and i gathered in the casino bar and tammy the mother bunny gave us a little speech of encouragement before we hit that cocktail bar to charm the socks of those 10 bosses. there was such high energy in the room that the entire 2 hours seem like one big blur now...

all i remember is feeling like a shark, in a sea of sharks, attacking those bosses, ripping them to shreds, cutting in on each other to savage the remains of their bloody corpses, grinning faces smeared with flesh, eyes wild with the thrill of the massacre. i dont know if i got through... there was some stiff competition... lovely bubbly creatures, cutesy blonde bombshells, amazonian models, latin beauties, some killer personalities, lots of very good sharks....

this time i'm not going to count my chickens. i was emailed by house of grazia on friday, who apologised that i hadn't made it through the final cut for the tv show, and though they'd loved me in the office, the TV channel decided in the end that my story didn't tie in with the other girls stories. obviously since i'd been led to believe i was through, that email felt like a fist grabbing my heart out of my chest. i was on the brink of tears all night at work, and only brought out of my misery by the exciting news that my most adored cousin donna had given birth to a baby girl!! from a gloomy depression i was lifted up to an ecstatic high, and all of a sudden i didn't care at all about tv shows, chloe boots or even bunnies...
welcome to the world emma charlotte!
xxx

Thursday, February 3, 2011

♥ burlesque baby!

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♥ lost in the cobbled back alleys of shoreditch, i wandered around in search of the venue for my burlesque class and found it just before my iphone's battery gave way and google maps disappeared. i'd forgotten my high heels and leggings at miss A's house and was forced to present myself to the first class in jeans and bare feet. some of the other girls had enthusiastically dolled themselves up in corsets, mini skirts and stay-up stockings and i felt like a real piker...

the teacher, milicent, was a lovely young thing; alabaster skin, red lips and dark hair swept up, wearing the most gorgeous velvet dress and vintage heels. she'd just gotten back from doing a show with deeta von teese and told us that burlesque has given her great traveling opportunities.

we spent the class prancing around in circles, kicking, spinning and dipping, while admiring ourselves in the wall to wall mirrors. she taught us the bump and grind, the kitten walk, the marylin monroe, the starlet pose, a feather boa dance, boob and bum shimmies and 5 ways to seductively remove your gloves with your teeth, your toes and your knees! she assured us that we would eventually learn hundreds of ways to remove gloves, and that we should all choose a favourite for our personal routines!

apparently by the second level, we should have an idea of what type of burlesque dancer we are, we will have created our own stage names and started putting together our own costume! but to begin with, lets master this bump and grind! i kept catching myself with a big silly grin on my face and then scanned the room to find that all the girls had them!

oh... what fun!! i can tell i'm gonna love it!

:o)

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

the invitation

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❉ today in the mail arrived the official invitation for the playboy cocktail party and final casting. i was just as excited to receive that invitation as if it was a golden ticket in a Wonka bar. the chocolate factory would be cool, but more than anything else right now, more than the world, the whole world, wrapped up in my pocket (it's my bar of chocolate..give it to me now)... i just want to be a bunny!

meanwhile, jerry, who's aspiring to be a hotel manager, is studying his bum off to get through his uni degree and is working his way towards VIP area manager at the club. saturday night was his first night as 'VIP host' and he loved it! he was so cute at home, dressing up in the outfit he'd carefully planned; suit jacket and jeans with matching purple suspenders, handkerchief, socks and shoelaces, and he was so bubbly with excitement that it just warmed my heart!

he went back to sweden on sunday for 5 days and i miss him desperately already!!  he's taking his groomsmen to get all their wedding suits made and is under strict instructions to consult me before making any decisions. though i desperately wanted them all in white, he's insisting on them wearing some colour and i suppose i should settle down with the bridezilla thing and let him have some say in the design of our wedding...

i didn't know what to do with myself on sunday with him gone, which is an indication of our ridiculous co-dependency...and i know it's not jut me, because jerry refuses to even go to the supermarket downstairs without me and often asks me to hang out in the bathroom while he's taking a shower to keep him company... oh, its sweet really isn't it?!
so in his absence i've kept myself distracted with online shopping (i love you ASOS), long skype conversations to my peeps back home, and the gym.... my god, spinning is hard core! i nearly sweated to death on that bike, but i came out feeling like i'd had brand new batteries put in me...

tomorrow is my first burlesque dance class! i have no idea what to expect but i'm very excited. according to the website we must bring along long opera gloves, high heels that can be comfortably danced in, but no nipple tassels until the second level!! i shall keep you informed my dearies...

:o)

Thursday, January 27, 2011

babies and bunnies

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❉ yesterday i took miss A to putney to meet jerry. she sat happily on his lap in the thai restaurant while he taught her to play 'angry birds' on his iphone. he fed her some chocolate buttons, asked her how old she was, (to which she proudly exclaimed 'two and a half!'), and that's all it took to totally win her over. as she slept in the pusher, he told me she must be the cutest kid in the whole world.... i swear he's clucky!

she is an absolutely adorable kid and because of this i've found that i don't mind so much being a nanny any more! ive been teaching her yoga, painting her face as a different animal each day and  dragging her around wherever i want to go; on shopping trips down kings road, to museums, to meet my friends for lunch, out for coffee (she loves her babyccinos!)... listen to me, going on about the kid like a boring mum! ... though i really love her, i'm far from ready to have my own kids and i cant actually imagine a time when i will feel ready! if it's gonna happen, it'll have to be by accident!

jerry and i finally found an apartment in putney, which we accepted yesterday. its a little one bedroom flat, very rough around the edges but also cheap and we're thinking that it's gonna be a fun project to do it up ourselves! it needs a new sofa, table, chairs, basically everything!... but it'll be a fun mission, finding bargains in ikea, on gumtree and in local charity shops, doing some painting, being creative... i'm looking forward to it!

EXCITING NEWS!!!! i just got a call from playboy congratulating me for getting through to the next stage of the bunny casting!!!!!! aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!
the next event is a cocktail party at the casino which i'll be hostessing at. the guests will be all the senior bosses of playboy and london clubs and the dress code is 'cocktail chic'.... oh my god!! how exciting!... and definitely a new-dress occasion!

yippeeeee!!!
:o)

Sunday, January 23, 2011

inbetween

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❉ lately i haven't been at all inspired to write my blog and even considered quitting it altogether.. but i know it's just a phase and it will pass...
i must remember the times when sitting down and doing some creative blog-writing has been my most favourite thing...

i guess its because i'm in an 'inbetween' phase right now. the wedding is creeping closer and there's so much to organise; i'm still waiting to hear back from the house of G regarding the reality TV show; i'm anxiously awaiting to see whether i got through the playboy bunny casting and now we've decided to move house to the other side of the city, where we can be closer to work, and live by ourselves....
my whole life feels in limbo!

i think a new flat will cheer me up.. i love moving house; unpacking, decorating, settling in, starting a fresh... as a kid i lived in 8 different houses in 3 different states, as well as a campervan for a good while. mum and dad seemed to be always chasing some sort of dream, which meant we travelled around the country til we finally ended up back in their home town. i used to love boxing my things up, riding on the sofas that were loaded onto the truck trailer as my dad drove to the new house (that mustn't have been illegal in the '80s!); racing my brother in to each new house to shotgun the best bedroom; setting out my dolls, my jewellery boxes, my books, my rubber collection; exploring the back yard and then jumping on our bikes to explore the neighbourhood.

even since i moved out from mum and dad's, i've lived in 15 houses (in 8 countries) plus 2 ship cabins!! i think it's fair to say that moving house is a bit of a hobby!

at the moment i have my heart set on putney, where my friend igne is moving, and which seems like such a gorgeous little english village on the river, with its hilly main street lined with cafes and florists... apartments get snapped up so fast though that we have to be quick to even get a look..

hopefully we'll find the perfect flat soon and i can jump out of limbo and into the start of a new phase...

:o)

Thursday, January 20, 2011

birthday week

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❀ just like last year, i managed to stretch my birthday into a long birth week celebration..
thirty deserves at least a week to process doesnt it....?
at midnight of the 15th i began fishing for birthday wishes at work, determined to milk every last minute of birthday attention possible. i told all my VIP guests, of course, who were offering me dom perignon along with their congratulations.

one of the promo girls asked me how old i was and when i told her she choked 'oh god!! ...at least you're engaged!'.... i pondered her meaning for a little while. is that really all ive got? safety from the dreaded bridgett jones spinster status....? i guess i possibly would be freaking out even more if i were single and thirty.

i hadnt planned on having a party, but at the last minute jerry and my colleagues from the club talked me into drinks at gem bar in soho, which of course turned into a few more and a few more... apparently when jerry finally dragged me into a taxi i insisted on sitting on the floor of the vehicle instead of in the seat and refused to let jerry stop for mcdonalds. then at home the only thing we had to eat was muesli and jerry found me bawling my eyes out, milk and muesli running down my face, sobbing that i'd wished we'd stopped at mcdonalds...

on wednesday jerry and i enjoyed my complimentary birthday dinner for two at babylon (a virgin perk) along with wine and scrumptious cocktails...
then tonight, as part of my birthday present, jerry took me out for a delicious italian meal in covent garden and then to see Priscilla at the palace theatre in the west end! it was wonderful wonderful wonderful!!!...the costumes, the sets, the choreography, the singers....!! for the finale when all the dancers came out dressed as australian flowers and animals i got a huge lump in my throat and my eyes welled up with tears. i realised that australia will always be wrapped around my heart, ready to pull the strings at any time to make me miss it.

thank you to everyone who made my birthday such a happy one. i wish you all happiness in return! most especially to my darling jerry who gave me his first card, (a picture of a man with a big rooster with 'this man has a big cock' written underneath), and who i love so much for spoiling me rotten, never saying no to me, letting me do whatever i want and loving me for exactly who i am.

:o)

Saturday, January 15, 2011

to a new decade...

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❀ today's the last day of my 20's...
i can't quite accept it...
dirty thirty seems such a huge transition, though everyone tells me you don't feel any different...
i imagine there'll be some sort of click within and all of a sudden my brain will tell me its time to grow up now, which is something i've been fighting wildly for a while...

over my morning porridge and coffee, two huge bunches of flowers arrived at my door, one from my family, the other from my old friend (and bridesmaid to be), sarah. i was so surprised and happy and touched at such loveliness that i was jumping around the kitchen in joy and even managed to motivate myself to go to my belly dance class which ive missed the last 3 weeks! we're doing a great routine in class right now, which i want to buy the music for to practise at home... my friend abas told me that if i want i can perform at his turkish restaurant, but i need much more practise before i can take something like that on!

i'm still not sure if i want to celebrate my birthday...  jerry's promised to take me to the theatre, which im very excited about but he also thinks i should have a small party at a cocktail bar... we'll see...

i have a stash of unopened presents in my wardrobe, which have arrived in the mail and i cant wait to tear them open tomorrow! (thank you to my mum & dad, nanna & poppa, donna and yvonne!)...  

cheers to another decade!
xoxoxo

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

bunny casting

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✰ the bunny casting was held at a big casino in leicester square... i was running late from spending way too long on my hair and was stressing to death on the tube... i ran pushing through the crowd to the casino entrance, threw off my flats and threw on my highest heels and slipped into the place at 2 o'clock on the dot.

i was super nervous and totally high on adrenalin and excitement. it was a very professional event: life-size bunny cut-outs were positioned throughout the casino, leading the way to the function room where all the big bosses from playboy and london clubs were there to meet and select 80 bunnies out of 2000 applicants!!

there were 20 girls at this casting and the ones i talked to were so friendly and lovely! we started off by watching a powerpoint presentation about the history of the playboy club which was really interesting. i did some further youtubing back home and found out that the london playboy club was the height of decadence back in the swinging 60's and it was a huge status symbol to have membership. i watched youtube clips of 1960's bunnies with their tiny waists, hot-rollered hair and black-and-white-movie accents,  dancing the twist, greeting guests at the door and serving cocktails doing the classic 'bunny dip' .... in their dressing rooms they smoked vogue cigarettes and talked about their weekly wage of £35 (without tips) which back then was twice the average weekly wage(!)..
many of them were swept off their feet by millionaires and celebrities, though they officially weren't allowed to date their customers. one bunny is asked in an interview does she not think its degrading to women to dress in those outfits, to which she responds 'we wear far less at the beach'.

my good old mum is really excited about the job and has done her own research on the role of the bunnies, assuring me its a very classy role, somewhat similar to a geisha.. i like that comparison... (both are non-sexual jobs just in case anyone's been misinformed..)

the casting event was one big fun day full of activities designed to let the bosses see our personalities shining.. in small groups we wrote and performed singing telegrams on different topics, did maths tests and colour tests with casino chips (bunnies are also trained to be croupiers)... we each tried on a mock bunny outfit and did a photoshoot with the photographer and finally we did one-on-one interviews with one of the bosses. mine went really well since he and i shared many similar interests and the interview was more like a casual but interesting conversation between friends. i came out feeling like he'd really liked me. nevertheless, im not getting too excited since there are 200 more potential bunnies going through the casting process.

i left feeling way too buzzed to go home, so instead i met jerry and sandy at our friend abas's restaurant for a turkish mezze dinner followed by cocktails at my girlfriend igne's bar. she even invented a 'bunny' cocktail especially for me, which was delicious and she refused to divulge the ingredients.

keep your fingers crossed for me!!

Saturday, January 8, 2011

movie week

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me and dan

❅ this week's been movie week.. i forced jerry to watch the amazing (and disturbing) 'black swan'....
i absolutely love natalie portman, more for each movie she makes! i decided that in my hypothetical world, if there was ever a movie made about me i'd like natalie portman to play me.

then my girlfriend igne and i went to see 'burlesque' in leicester square on thursday, with cocktails before and afterwards of course. we knew it would be corny and were mainly interested in the dances and burlesque costumes, since a while ago we'd both decided to start burlesque classes. i'm starting the course at 'burlesque baby' next month bot unfortunately igne cant join me because of work :o( ....

i'd originally become interested in burlesque because of the movie set i was working on (miss mia meows) where i met annette , who's a big name in the london burlesque scene and who teaches at burlesque baby. she was so amazing looking in her feathery corsetted costume and coifed red hair, she looked like she'd stepped straight out of the 1950's. even in her regular clothes she was a picture of vintage elegance. she was also a lovely girl and entertained us with hilarious stories including one about a one-night-stand she'd had with a cute photographer guy and the next morning when she woke up, she saw his bedroom in daylight and his walls were covered in framed photographs of her, taken from the internet!!!  he'd been obsessed with her and had finally managed to track her down and seduce her! she got out of there really quick!

i told her a story from when i was in high school, and we had an older friend who had his own flat where we used to all hang out and party. one day i found a match box on his coffee table, opened it up and inside was a ball of rolled up blonde hair. i asked the friend 'what the hell is this?' and he admitted to me that it was my hair... that every time id borrowed his hairbrush he'd scraped my hair out of it and kept it in that box! being all of 17 years old i was flattered rather than freaked out and thought it was pretty cool to have someone obsessed with me.

last night i met up with my good old friend dan, who's normally too busy for me, but made time to meet me to celebrate his birthday. (only joking dan!! i know you've been busy and i have been too)... we saw '127 hours' and then spent the rest of the night in a cosy pub with open fire, drinking pints while catching up on months of gossip and reminiscing good times in japan.. we promised each other that this year we'll make more effort at catching up.

have a nice weekend everyone!
love, love
xx

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

searching for bunnies

playboy-britain

❅ jerry's killing for a holiday. i suggested a nice mini-break to a lovely historic mansion/hotel in the english countryside... he laughed in my face. though i'd love to explore the land of my heritage and see those grand buildings that make up the settings for all the period dramas i love watching, jerry has absolutely zero interest in anything to do with the UK.

he's craving sunshine and has been browsing holiday packages to tenerife and grand canary.. also very tempting i have to say... if only we weren't so impoverished because of the damned wedding budget! ....ok, we're not impoverished- that's not fair to all those who truly are slumming it. we lead a good life, we just both need some excitement right now...

in search of something to stimulate me, i jumped on my old fave website gumtree...  i'd been considering italian classes since i've always enjoyed studying italian and am losing it from never practising... and through the gumtree classifieds i managed to organise a language exchange with an italian girl named claudia who'll ill meet once a week for coffee and language! yay!

in my browsing, i also stumbled across an advertisement for the new high-profile Playboy club/casino, opening soon in mayfair, for which they're seeking bunnies.....
hmmm... playboy bunnies hey?.....
did the ad spark my interest? ...of course it did! ...not only for the classic iconic uniforms which are timelessly sexy, the history and reputation of the company and the vision of tips tips tips... but  i figured.. i've got a bit of free time in which i could be working... what the hell? i can be a bunny!
i sent off my CV and today received a response: mine was among those chosen from the thousands of applicants and would i like to come to a casting event on monday?
how much fun!
 :o)

Sunday, January 2, 2011

resolutions shmesolutions

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❅ i was determined to turn over a new leaf in 2011, since the wedding countdown has reached the five month point, and i'd already composed a mental list of new years resolutions, the three main ones being:
1) quit junk food (in particular chocolate)
2) minimum of four gym workouts a week (including spinning classes, which everyone warns me is vomitously hard, but very effective)
3) less binge drinking...

i had high hopes for the feeling this fresh new life would bring me... i imagined the new me: glowing with good health and happiness, sporting a trim gym-body, feeling fit and agile like a wild animal and free from post-alcohol depression and anxiety...
however, due to my pathetic lack of will power, in just the fifth hour of the new year i was already pissed on champagne and gorging columbian chocolates at our after-work party.

new years eve at the club was so much fun, even though we were working... i had some really friendly VIP guests, i danced around on the VIP sofa on the countdown, popping streamers, and received a million happy-new-year hugs and kisses from all my lovely colleagues.... and of course, i was with jerry, which is always nice.
after the club closed we all stayed back to drink champagne and dance until 7am.

jerry's swedish friend My and her girlfriend were visiting from barcelona and came to stay with us yesterday. we went out with them and sandy, one of our bosses, for a thai dinner, drinks at a cocktail bar and then partying at a club called 'egg' near our house. my is the most hilarious person and had me in tears of laughter all night, doing her party-trick boob-dance, making hilarious swenglish comments, trying to do fanny farts in the elevator, pretending to be a famous russian singer (and making me pretend to be russian as well) to a group of guys at egg who's private table we wanted to steal, and telling us hilarious stories about her wacky friend who threw a pooh in a hot-dog roll on a roof to watch it melt, and carried a raw steak to a club in her handbag to pull out and slap a guys face with.

we got home at 7am again, totally smashed, and slept 3-in-the bed with sandy who i woke in the morning by accidentally spilling a glass of water all over. we wallowed all day at home in our filthy hangovers while sandy had to go to work, the poor thing.

so anyway i've decided i'm going to start the new years resolutions as of tomorrow :o)....
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