you're not from australia

✶ a customer in the restaurant last night accused me, in front of his whole family and the tables around his, of lying about being from australia. ' i can hear from your accent that you're not from australia' he said to me.... what does he think, that i'm walking around speaking english for fun when my job would be 100 times easier if i was swedish and didn't have to deal with language barriers and the exact same boring questions one thousand times a day: 'where are you from?' and 'what are you doing here in åre?'. i was so annoyed that i made jerry take over serving his table and jerry was begging me to give him my drivers licence to shove in the guy's face but i didn't feel like making a scene.

instead i let my hair down for coyote ugly! it was great fun last night, even though it was quieter than usual, with two other big parties in town stealing our customers.
our two favourite regulars came in, martin and jack, and when jack went out to have a cigarette, martin asked me to make the worst shot i could possibly think of for jack. i mixed together tequila, sambuca, blue curacao, lemon juice, milk and tabasco sauce, but snazzed up the glass with a cocktail umbrella and a lemon wedge so it looked deceivingly fresh and fruity. jack was so happy that id made him such a special looking surprise shot that he downed it with a big smile on his face. pia and i watched him in excited anticipation. his smile quickly turned to a frightened grimace and he sat in startled silence, i think waiting to see if he would vomit it straight back up again. although i had tears of laughter pouring down my face, i started to feel bad that maybe i'd made him very sick, until all of a sudden he shouted out 'give me another one!'

we had girls from the crowd dancing up on the bar with us and a group of old gray-haired men with beards dancing on the tables with air-guitars. two cute young guys came up to us and offered us 20,000 crowns to dance the next song naked and although i instantly declined, pia was considering it... or at least a boob flash, since it would pay for her to get her licence back after losing it for drink driving and crashing into a flower shop...