nightmares

'dream' by freud


☏ phew! the internet's back on after a full 24 hours of disconnection!!! that was getting a bit scary! how did i ever live without it?

i was actually considering quitting my blog, since i'm going through a bit of a boring phase right now and sometimes i struggle to find something to write about, but i got lots of encouraging messages which persuaded me to continue writing, at least for a little while....

jerry's parents are arriving tonight to stay with us for a week. we've been madly cleaning up the apartment, which was well and truly on its way to the shithouse. we're both really excited about having them here, although jerry's worried about the language barrier, since they don't speak much english. i even caught him on the phone to his mum the other day, ordering her to 'learn english before she comes!' ...but i've dealt with many language barriers in my time and it never really matters.

the shitty thing is we'll have to move back to the single beds, to give them the double. we've both had harrowing nightmares every single night since we arrived in spain, but for some reason, the dreams are the most terrorizing and ungodly in the single beds! i'm almost used to the cold sweats, waking to the sound of my own whimpering, the fantastical shapes that haunt the room, being too scared to fall asleep again lest i fall back into the same nightmare... jerry's are just as bad, so he goes to school sleep-deprived every morning.

last night i had the old recurring high-school nightmare. i'm back in year 12, i'm late for class, i haven't done the essay that's due, i don't know where the classroom is, can't seem to read the timetable, cant find my locker to get my books and when i do eventually find it, i can't remember the combination lock code. then to top it all off, i look down and i'm stark naked.

i have this dream on a very regular basis and its always the most traumatising and anxiety-inducing, which is the oddest thing since i actually enjoyed school, liked most of my teachers and always handed everything in on time. why does this dream haunt me?? ill have to look it up in one of those dream books.... ok, i just googled it and according to freud, it is associated with a project that's important to me (could be the tv show, which we're still having problems with) or it can mean a wish will be granted in my future connected to my studies.....
yay, film-making, film-making!!!!!

;o)